Hallucinogens and A Metal Heart
by girlslikegirlslikeboysdo
Summary: Patsy discovers a new drug that changes the dynamic of her friendship. (Patsy/Edina)


"Take this," said Patsy Stone. She took a drag on a cigarette and proceeded to blow smoke rings in the air.

Edina Monsoon examined the pill in her best friend's hand. It looked like nothing she had ever seen before. Her eyes then noticed a tiny jar filled with them on the coffee table. Next to the jar were papers and herbs for rolling joints, as well as other mood enhancers.

"What is it?"

"Oh, just a little something the boys whipped up for me. This stuff's the real deal, Eds. They said its guaranteed to get you so stoned you won't think straight for a week. Apparently it makes heroin and cocaine feel like a tiny pinch. It's what put that famous rapper in a year long coma. All of the young stars are doing it. Come on, try it with me Eddie."

A frightened and concerned look appeared on Edina's face. "I don't know, Pats. I wouldn't want anything to happen to me, for Saffy's sake."

"Fuck Saffy. This doesn't concern her. It's time for us to have some fun. What do you say, Eds?"

"…Alright, sure."

Patsy poured Eddie and herself their favorite Bolli Stoli cocktail in champagne glasses. She then handed Edina the mysterious pill.

"Cheers, Eds."

"Cheers, Pats."

They clinked drinks and then simultaneous took the pill with big gulps of their cocktails.

* * *

20 minutes later…

"Do you feel anything, sweetie?"

"I'm starting to feel a little bit dizzy… wow… what is that?….. It looks as if Stella McCartney and a crisp are dry-humping on the coffee table, Pats!"

"Well I'm not really feeling anything yet. Maybe this stuff isn't strong enough for me…. "

Suddenly a bright light covered every inch of the room except for Edina's form.

"Oh, Eds! I think I spoke too soon, darling. Its very light in here, and everything's sparkling. _Except_ -"

"What are you talking about, Pats? All I see is darkness... and sex. Lots of sex!"

Edina got up from the couch and started twirling around the living room.

"Eddie, is that you? Come back over here!"

Patsy watched as Edina danced around the room. In her eyes, Eddie was practically glowing. She was mesmerized by the soft curves of her friend in the black dress. Edina, was once wearing a fluffy pink sweater, but she must have discarded it in the process of her movements. Patsy took notice in the fact that the dress was tight and very revealing.

"Join me, Pats. We're all partying without you," Edina yelled across the room.

Patsy did not know who in fact her friend was referring to, but she decided to join nonetheless.

"Sure thing, babe!" Patsy yelled back.

The tall blonde made her way to the center of the room, and brought a bottle of champagne with her.

"Patsy, dance with me!"

Patsy took a swig of the bubbly liquid and then stepped into her friend's arms. Edina moved her body as if music was playing, but all Patsy could hear was the brunette's breathing and a strange voice in her head. Patsy took a larger drink in hopes of silencing the unusual voice.

Edina grabbed the bottle from Patsy's hand and carelessly dropped it on the floor. She then tripped on her pink sweater and landed in Patsy's arms. Edina continued to move her body, causing her friend to join in.

"Wow, Eds. We're pretty close."

"Yeah…" Edina mumbled.

Patsy looked down.

"Tit to tit, I guess…"

All Patsy could see was the large amount of cleavage that rubbed against her own body. She tore away her gaze and looked for the lonely bottle of bubbly that was thrown to the ground. Patsy gently lowered herself to the floor and grasped the bottle. Edina then joined her on the carpet.

"Save some for me, Sweetie," whispered Edina. She then giggled randomly.

Patsy handed the bottle over to her friend. "What's so funny?"

Edina swallowed the bubbly drink.

"Your lipstick is smeared all over your face. You look like a clown, Pats."

"Well don't just sit there, rub it off me Eddie"

Edina scooted towards her friend. She examined Patsy's face and then used her thumb to wipe off the excess lipstick around her mouth. Patsy's body warmed up as Edina gave her a soft kiss on the cheek.

"All better," said Eddie. Immediately afterwards she laid her body down on the carpet and twirled her arms around. "Look, Pats. I'm swimming!" Edina looked ecstatic.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Patsy said quietly.

Sick? Patsy Stone has never gotten sick. What was this pill doing to her? She certainly wasn't herself anymore. Patsy was having sudden feelings and urges that were… unnatural. She needed to fix this, and the only way to do it was with a myriad of illegal substances.

"I'll be back sweetie," she said and ran out of the room before hearing Edina's response.

* * *

In the Bathroom:

Patsy stared at her face in the mirror. Pale was an understatement for how she looked. She quickly splashed water on her face. Then Patsy pulled out various pill bottles and needles from her pockets and purse. Patsy swallowed and injected anything that was in her hands. She reapplied her lipstick and then walked out of the door.

"Come here, Pats. I'm looking up at the stars! I think I see the milky way! Or is that a cow?" Edina was splayed out on the carpet with her eyes up at the ceiling.

"Alright, sweetie." Patsy sat down next to her friend.

"No darling, I want you to lie down with me," Edina grabbed Patsy tightly, causing her to fall on top of her friend. Patsy's head was practically lodged between Edina's breasts.

Patsy moaned, and Edina released her grasp.

"Eddie, I think I've become ill," she said, while still on top of her friend.

"What's the matter?" responded Edina.

"I'm feeling things… _feelings_!"

"What do you mean by feelings?"

"You know, like emotions… and _warmth_ ," Edina gasped.

"I don't know Eds, I've never been like this before. I think I'm dying, Eddie."

"Darling, I'm going to check your head for a fever, and then I'm going to call the hospital!" She frantically moved upward and slapped her hand against Patsy's forehead.

"Don't do it, Eddie! Think about the drugs!"

"But Patsy, you're sick!"

"I did not buy these expensive pills with your money so that they could be flushed down the toilet. Come to think of it, Eds, maybe I'll feel better after taking another one."

"Gimme one too, sweetie."

"Darling, I think you've had enough. Stay where you are. I'll be right back."

* * *

3 Minutes Later

Patsy Stone appeared in the doorway with bulging eyes, a messy fringe, and white powder underneath her nose. Cocaine seemed to mix nicely with her second pill.

"Oh, Eddie. I feel so much better. I'm very alert. It's like lightning is coursing through my veins. I feel as if I am in a new state of existence."

Edina was still splayed out on the floor with her eyes up at the ceiling. "That's great, Pats. I'm feeling very melancholic at the moment. The galaxy has dried up and I'm just staring at a dark wormhole. I feel like I could be swallowed up at any moment and no one would notice."

Patsy grinned widely. "In life, there's no time for sadness. You've got to live it up, sweetie! Before you know it, you'll be lying down in a bloody coffin with dirt piled up to your neck. For now, you've got to rise above the shit, and just live. Smile with me, darling!"

"How can I do all of that when I'm fat, ugly, and _unloveable_?"

Patsy's smile faded, though her eyes were still wide.

"I love you, Eddie."

Edina laughed.

"Patsy, you don't know how to love. You've never loved anything in your life."

"Pats, the only thing you could possibly love is the stuff you snort, swallow, smoke, and inject. You're like a robot with tits! Drugs are your fuel, and emotions aren't compatible in your metal heart. Not even Mick bloody Jagger has your love!"

"I'm serious, Eddie. I love you," Patsy mumbled.

Edina stood up. "I don't believe you. Prove it to me."

Pasty took a swig of champagne for courage, and walked towards her inebriated friend.

"I've been wanting to do this all night," she said.

Patsy grabbed the large breasts in front of her, and roughly planted her lips on Edina's.

Edina's breath hitched.

Patsy stuck her tongue down her friend's throat and moaned into the kiss.

Edina gave in, like she always does.


End file.
